We have all known this person. At work, they need one more pass, one more reminder, or another soft-landing while (at all times) they are at least mildly condescending. In life, they love to have fun with you, call when they need a boost, and somehow never arrive with a single follow-up question about your actual wellbeing, even when they know things are not exactly sunlit and thriving.
They are NOT evil or calculated, just remarkably unacquainted with reciprocity. That is why this card is The Appetite.
Because this is not about need. Everybody needs sometimes. Work gets messy. Life gets weird. People drop balls, lose the thread, and briefly become a human error with a smartphone.
This is about the pattern that forms when someone gets very used to receiving time, patience, attention, and emotional oxygen, without developing much awareness that these things cost other people something.
Nothing they do looks enormous on it’s own. That is the trick.
It is a quick… favor… question… vent. A quick check of the deck, save before the meeting, or catch-up that somehow contains a full documentary about their needs and not one question about yours.
You help because you are competent. Or kind. Or trapped with no clear exit strategy.
Then one day you realize this person has been enjoying a fully catered relationship, and you are somehow the staff. Again, not malicious. Just very comfortable. And that comfort is where the trouble starts.
At work, these people can become oddly expensive. Their tasks arrive with hidden handling fees. Their mistakes require support staff. Their confusion creates admin. Their “small asks” travel in packs.
In life, it feels lonelier. You start noticing that some people love your presence but have very little interest in your condition. They enjoy the helpful, responsive, and emotionally well-lit version of you. AND the minute you stop supplying all that, the connection gets very quiet. Which, while clarifying, is also hurtful.
The lesson of this card is not to become hard-hearted and start guarding your calendar like a medieval bridge troll. It is to notice the ratio.
-Who asks, but rarely offers?
-Who receives, but rarely checks in?
-Who enjoys the benefits of your steadiness without much curiosity about the cost?
THE CARD REVERSED: Sometimes the most generous thing you can do [for yourself] is stop making the imbalance so convenient. Not with drama, but with clarity.
A little less automatic rescue. A little more ownership. A little more room for other people to discover that support is not a self-replenishing natural resource.
So today’s card asks:
At work or in life, what is the clearest sign someone has developed an appetite for receiving without much practice in giving?
