Once upon a job interview, the feedback about me was: “Hire this woman, she’s a bulldozer.”
Not exactly the compliment I wanted. I imagined myself flattening colleagues in my path, or showing up to meetings with hazard lights flashing. I like to think I’m a nice person. Bulldozer? Not so much.
What they really meant, I learned later, was that I get things done. I hit deadlines, even if it means digging trenches at midnight. At the time, they thought that was admirable. Eventually, it was what made me burnt out and sick.
That’s the quiet curse having “acquired” too many skills. You get asked because you’re capable. You say yes because you’re generous. And pretty soon, your calendar looks like it was designed by someone who actively dislikes you.
Here’s the kicker: people aren’t malicious. They just notice who can do the thing, and who can do it fast. And if you keep stepping up, they’ll keep letting you.
So how do you stop your generosity from curdling into resentment?
-Build the skills to recognize what’s actually yours to do, instead of the ones that add to your tech stack.
-Lean on your network, don’t try to solve every problem alone.
-Choose activities that matter, not just the ones that land in your lap.
-Refresh your knowledge of where you add the most value, so you’re not accidentally volunteering for every pothole.
I still get things done. But I no longer sacrifice myself to prove it (well… not as much). Because being helpful shouldn’t mean becoming heavy machinery.
Where’s your line between generous and drained? Drop it in the comments—your future self might thank you.
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