Did you know signal lights on major highways in Connecticut are now OPTIONAL???
This weekend I was driving to Mystic Seaport to meet one of my favorite humans (Monique St. Paul) at the Garlic Festival; because yes, if you dangle garlic and a late 80’s romcom reference in front of this Italian girl, I will follow… when, due to almost crashing into the car in front of me, I realized signal lights on I-95 are optional! I cannot believe I missed this announcement, but very few blinkers and a lot of hand gestures that were not the ones I learned in traffic school, confirm it!
And that got me thinking on a recent change management training I attended (trouble, as you know, if you regularly read my posts). In the U.S., we don’t have many roundabouts. When we hit one on vacation, we freeze. Do we yield? Do we go? Is that hand wave friendly or threatening? Roundabouts are foreign to us, so we fumble. Traffic lights, though? We understand those. Red means stop, green means go, yellow means decide if you’re late enough to risk it.
Workplace communication isn’t different. Some colleagues are human traffic lights: steady, predictable, easy to read. Others are more like roundabouts dropped in an American suburb: technically functional, but confusing for everyone involved. And then there are the non-signalers; who swerve into your lane without warning, leaving you guessing if they’re overwhelmed, disengaged, or just bad at communication.
I know, because I’ve misread signals myself. Recently I shared an impression of someone based on a handful of interactions, only to find out they’re a close friend of someone I deeply respect (Andrea Rouse, MBA, CMP, PMP). My “read” seems to have been wildly off, which left me questioning: what signals did I misinterpret, and how much of my reaction was actually my own screwed-up wiring and occasional inability to speak when feeling vulnerable?
That’s the real risk: signals are not universal. They’re filtered through our biases, our moods, our assumptions. Miscommunication often isn’t about bad intent; it’s about bad translation.
Which is why in collaboration, signaling clearly matters. Success depends on whether we let people in on our intentions, or leave them to decode our shrugs and sighs. A blinker flipped on at the right time (“I need help here,” “I’m struggling with this deadline”) can prevent the emotional pileups that silence creates.
So, here’s my garlic-flavored takeaway: if you’re not sure whether your signals are landing, don’t circle endlessly in the roundabout of assumptions. Use your words. Ask. Clarify. Be willing to look a little vulnerable if it saves everyone from a crash.
What signals are you sending; and more importantly, are they being received the way you think they are? If you’re brave drop them in the comments, if not don’t drop them from your thoughts – find a way to say the thing or just let it go.
