Burnout recovery has one requirement nobody brags about on LinkedIn: you have to get comfortable being… ordinary. Not “bad at your job.” Not “quiet quitting.” Not “I’ve given up and moved to a yurt.” Just… normal. Human. Not generating excellence like it’s your side hustle.
For a lot of high performers, “ordinary” doesn’t feel neutral. It feels risky. Especially if you’ve built a whole reputation on being the fixer, the fast responder, and the person who can carry the messy thing without making a face. Bonus points if you spent years thinking everyone was this tired… and then later learned your brain has been running with the difficulty setting quietly cranked up.
Here’s what makes burnout so stubborn: rest can be an identity negotiation (it is for me).
You can take a day off and still be “working” in your head. Not emails, not spreadsheets, internal labor. The constant self-audit. The little courtroom where you present evidence that you’re still useful. You know, the overtime your working with no discernable gain.
And the usual “self-care” suggestions can backfire if your achievement engine hijacks them. A cozy tv show becomes impatience. A hobby becomes a chore. A workout becomes a performance review of your posture, your pace, your life choices. And if you’re grading yourself, you’re not resting.
At work, this often shows up as reflex overdelivery: you volunteer first, you answer instantly, you add the extra slide, you smooth the awkward moment, you take the task “so it doesn’t fall apart.” People call you reliable, but you feel like you’re always “on.”
Recovery asks for something annoyingly brave: doing things without turning them into proof.
So, here is how I am challenging myself, feel free to steal it: for the next week I am going to pick one place to be intentionally less dazzling. It will likely be sending the email when it’s clear, not when it’s a masterpiece – because I’ve been writing A LOT of emails lately. I will also let someone else own the meeting silence. Because delivering “solid and done” is not a crime.
At the end of the week, I’ll do a quick check-in:
What SKILL did I actually rely on/build?
Who in my NETWORK shared the load?
What ACTIVITY restored me without becoming a goal? and
What KNOWLEDGE is pushing me to stop overperforming right now?
You’re turn, where do you most overperform to feel secure and what’s one small way you could de-escalate it this week without setting anything on fire?
