My intuition is annoying. Like rogue software running in the background that keeps flagging, “Potential issue detected,” while everyone else is happily clicking “Ignore.” Because, when I walk into a room my brain starts doing [involuntary] silent math:
-Who’s relaxed vs. rehearsed.
-Who’s asking a question vs. building a case.
-Who’s friendly… and who’s collecting.
Most days, it’s useful. I can read the temperature fast and adjust my approach like a responsible adult who enjoys being employed. But there’s a darker side to being good at this: when you’re usually accurate, being wrong doesn’t just sting. It rearranges your internal furniture.
Because it’s not just, “Wow, that person turned out to be disappointing.”
It’s, “Wait… did I misread the whole situation?”
And then, “If I missed that, what else am I missing?”
And suddenly you’re side-eyeing your own instincts.
I heard this yesterday in stereo from a coaching client. They described a new work relationship that felt easy. The kind where Slack banter is crisp, meetings feel collaborative, and they thought… Great. We’re aligned.
Until another pattern showed itself. The warmth was consistent, but the support wasn’t. There was nothing malicious or dramatic, she said. Things just felt quietly transactional. “It’s not even what they did, it’s that now I don’t trust my read on anyone.”
And that’s when I realized how often I also rely soley on my “read” of someone and skip the self-questioning. And that step is vital since intuition isn’t infallible. Because some people know how to wear the right mask at the right time, creating a sense of “we’re a team” before there’s any real reciprocity. And that is what my client is experiencing.
So, what’s the play if you’re the kind of person who reads a room well, but you recognize that is only one data group and its not serving? My move is to incorporate SNAKs:
SKILLS: Name what I’m seeing (not what I fear).
NETWORK: Let consistency qualify people, not chemistry.
ACTIVITIES: Doing the things that bring me back to myself, not just being “useful.”
KNOWLEDGE: Learning my patterns so I can spot when someone is pulling on them.
Intuition is data, not endgame. And if you’ve been burned, the goal isn’t to become colder (I know it’s tempting, really I do). It’s to become clearer.
So, while we have intuition on the table, what’s the most “professionally confusing” sign you ignored early on? The kind that seemed small at first, but later made you go, “Oh. That was the whole trailer for the movie.”
