You ever hear your own story… told back to you by someone… who heard it from a third party as their own lived experience?
It’s a jarring kind of magic—like watching a rerun of your life, but the actors are off-script.
Welcome to the uncanny valley of uncredited wisdom.
Where great leadership lessons get lifted like free samples—and your lived experience becomes someone else’s TED Talk.
A few years back, I was talking with a colleague who asked, “Hey, have you heard Janet’s story about how workplace challenges aren’t about people, they’re about processes?”
I smiled and said, “She told you about that?”
Janet (not her real name), was a former leader of mine who, I learned, had shared my tale about “process not people” as her own.
Narrative theft, party of one.
To be fair, they didn’t quote me.
They appropriated my experience.
And that, friends, is the difference between credit and counterfeit.
Because it wasn’t just a story. It was my experience and KNOWLEDGE.
And when a leader lifts your knowing and recasts it as their own, they’re robbing the team of context, of connection, and of trust.
It’s like watching someone do your choreography backwards.
Offbeat.
And with no rhythm in the hips.
Because real leadership remembers that every insight has a source.
It says, “I learned this from XYZ on my team.”
It doesn’t just dance the steps. It names the choreographer.
Now, I’m not advocating that we all gatekeep our metaphors.
Ideas echo. That’s the nature of a good narrative.
But leaders: if you’re going to pass the mic, please say where you got it.
And if the story’s not yours? Don’t headline with it. Honor it.
Give the attribution. Share the spotlight.
Because when you treat your team’s wisdom like a buffet—grabbing what looks good, leaving the garnish of gratitude behind—you train people to share less.
And that’s not just a loss for them. It’s a loss for all of us.
Now if you’re reading this and thinking “Oops, that might’ve been me,”—congratulations. You’ve just unlocked the first step in the grown-up leadership cha-cha:
Own it. Fix it. Do better.
Send the apology.
Name the person.
Because leadership isn’t just what you say.
It’s who you lift when you say it.
And for the rest of us? The next time your story comes back to you in someone else’s voice—feel what you feel, maybe call them on it. Then rise.
What’s a story you’ve told that came back to you… remixed, retitled, and rebranded?
