About a year ago, I had the kind of epiphany that arrives looking like inconvenience, emotional whiplash, and a few humans that seem personally offended by your existence. Just before, at a work event, a few things in my world went sideways. Professionally. Personally. Spiritually, if we are being dramatic, which I am willing to be for your morale.
At the time, I did what any functioning adult does. I kept moving. Answered the emails. Bought groceries. Made lists. Smiled in a way that suggested I was absolutely in command of events while my inner world was basically a group chat with no moderator.
But now, as I intentionally study my personality and psychological development during my INSIGHTS certification, I can’t unsee what was actually happening. I was changing.
Not in the tidy, corporate way. Not “growing my leadership presence” with a tasteful PDF and bullet points. I mean real change. The kind that sneaks up on you and alters the way you communicate, the things you will tolerate (and won’t), and possibilities you had long ago filed under “please be serious.”
What fascinates me about psychological growth is that it is rarely about becoming a shinier version of yourself. It’s about being more whole. Which is lovely until you realize wholeness requires you to meet parts of yourself you had previously kept behind several locked doors and a polite smile.
The more direct (less apologetic) voice.
The one who asks for help instead of trying to run a one-woman infrastructure project out of sheer willpower.
The one who wants more, and is no longer willing to perform as a smaller version just because everyone got used to their season one character.
Naturally, in the moment, personal evolution does not feel majestic. It feels deeply inconvenient.
One day you are certain of who you are. The next day you are questioning your tone, your timing, your life choices, and whether your personality has quietly joined a witness protection program. But I think that is the point.
We are not meant to remain psychologically identical to the version of ourselves that made sense in another chapter. Sometimes life presses a seam, and the old shape no longer fits. Not because you’re failing, but because you’re becoming someone with wider range and significantly less interest in pretending that fine is a personality.
That can be unsettling. It can also be the start of something more honest.
Professional growth is often framed as gaining skills. And yes, of course. You know I want you to learn the thing. Build the muscle. Try not to die inside during the icebreaker. AND REMEMBER, some of the biggest shifts in our careers are not about skill at all. They are about identity. About the quiet moment when you realize you are no longer trying to return to the old version of yourself but seeking to understand the new one.
And frankly, they have opinions.
So, what season of change reshaped you before you had language for it?
