As humans we often act impulsively when a check on our intent (even when it seems innocent) might be needed.
Somewhere between adding audio and typing the caption, you felt it. That flicker. You told yourself, “I’m just sharing this to celebrate.” But are you?
Or are you dressing up a soft clapback in the glitter of good lighting and gratitude? Let’s talk about intent.
Because in the world of the high-functioning, emotionally aware, over-performing professionals we like to think we are… intent is everything. But only if we’re honest with ourselves about it.
You can throw a compliment that lands like a dagger.
Like telling a colleague, “You’re so great at staying in your lane.”
Or offering to “partner” on something when you’re really strategically leveraging the other person’s visibility for your own gain.
That doesn’t make you a villain. It makes you human.
But it also means your inner PR team is working overtime to spin something that could use a moment of reflection.
Intent is sneaky like that.
Professionally, it can show up in the guise of “helping a teammate” while quietly micromanaging them.
Or being “proactive” when really you’re trying to claim space in someone else’s sandbox before they notice.
It wears good manners like camouflage, moving through meetings under the radar of plausible deniability.
On the personal side?
That vacation photo carousel wasn’t just for the memories.
And if we’re being honest, that perfectly posed picture at golden hour wasn’t for your friends. It was for your ex.
The one who stalks your social media and periodically wishes you “nothing but the best.”
Again: human. Not harmful.
But worth noting.
Because what feels like authenticity can be performance.
What sounds like generosity might actually be control.
And what we call “nice” sometimes carries the scent of resentment, insecurity, or fear of not being seen.
Now don’t get me wrong, the point isn’t perfection. It’s recognition.
Because when we know what we’re really doing and why, we shift from performative to powerful. That’s what intent offers: a mirror.
A moment to know ourselves just a little better.
And that kind of knowing is how transformation begins.
Here’s the bonus: We are allowed to want things.
To be proud. To show off. To seek validation. To want to win.
And the moment we can admit our true intent, even just to ourselves, we unlock a different power.
The power to choose and revise, to name the tradeoffs.
And if it still aligns with your values after that check, keep going.
But if it doesn’t?
You’ve just earned a moment of growth your future self will thank you for.
And even if you decide to keep going anyway—at least now, you’re doing it with eyes open.
Because we don’t always make good choices.
But we should always (yes, I said the dirty word), own what we choose.
That’s leadership. That’s self-awareness. That’s adulting with receipts.
With love,
UrfriendinHR
(Who knows why you really posted that photo. And loves you anyway.)
