Coaching clients are coming in SPICY this week. Yesterday one brought this to our session: “Ever met someone at work and thought, why do I suddenly feel like a moth and they’re the last working porch light on earth?”
My response,: “Do you even know them beyond their office persona?”
He laughed: “Nope. Makes ZERO sense. I don’t know her middle name, music preferences, or whether she would microwave leftover fish in the office (I’m nodding, that IS a true measure of character). And yet I’m drawn, pulled… I feel like a loose wire in a fluorescent ceiling light whenever we’re in the same space.”
At this point, I’m glad this session is virtual, because after several decades in HR I’ve heard this before. And I don’t call it fate or twin flames like the TikTok psychics. I call it workplace magnetism; that inexplicable, irrational attraction to another human; often platonic, sometimes aspirational, sometimes dangerous to your HR file. And I’ve seen it inspire greatness… but also wreak havoc on careers and personal lives.
Why it happens (without the crystals) …
-Projection, organization style: Maybe they remind you of your favorite mentor, teacher, an ex you never quite shook, or a sibling who defended you from a dodgeball. Your brain shortcuts trust before your logic catches up.
-Missing pieces: You’re cautious, they’re bold. You’re structured; they’re chaos and charisma. And you want to learn how they do it.
-High-stakes glue: Nothing bonds people like a project fire drill or a toxic boss. Forget trust falls; watch out for that person who shares snacks with you at 9PM.
And it feels mystical because it is… just not in the soulmate sense, but in the archetypal, system-wide sense.
-The Sage shows up when you need grounding.
-The Trickster lands the joke when the meeting is about to combust.
-The Muse sparks your creativity in a way no team-building exercise could.
Because we humans are myth-making machines. When someone slides neatly into an archetype we’re unconsciously craving, it feels like fate (even if it’s just Tuesday.)
But there is a catch… magnetism is dangerous if you mistake it for destiny. A mentor isn’t a savior. A charismatic peer isn’t your DeFacto best friend. And that dazzling project lead is still capable of throwing you under the bus at QBR.
The better question is: what is this magnet teaching me?
Am I chasing SKILLS I need to practice?
A NETWORK that’s opening up?
An ACTIVITY I’m too scared to try?
Or KNOWLEDGE I haven’t yet admitted I’m missing?
Yes, I’m SNAK-talking again.
So, when you feel the magnet, don’t panic. Notice. Learn. Maybe even let it shift your path. Just don’t confuse a spark for a fire you rebuild your house around.
So, tell us in the comments:
If you had to name the most magnetic colleague you ever had as a fictional character archetype; who would they be? The Wise Wizard? Chaos Gremlin? Secret Villain with great hair?
