For the last 3+ years, everyone at work knew me as the Instructional Designer and Director of external member education… the one turning SME chaos into something members could actually use. Then late last year I added a new lane: 1/3 of the Human Resources team (responsible for Org. Development and Business Process Management.) Same person, just a wider slice of responsibility and a much higher chance I’m sitting in conversations where “comfort” and “boundaries” are not optional.
And that’s where social media can get complicated. Because when you connect with a coworker online, it’s usually casual. It’s “haha that meme,” “same,” “you’re so real for that.” Low stakes. But when that coworker now sits in any part of HR, the connection can start to feel like stakes even if nothing about your relationship has changed.
So today I sent a private note to people I’d connected with on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, etc… Not to make it a whole thing, but to offer something we do not hand out often enough at work: EASY permission.
Permission to unfollow, disconnect, mute, or quietly exit stage left if you’d rather keep your online world separate from your work world. No explanation. No awkwardness. No “did you see I…” subtext. If you ever wanted a no-drama boundary pass, I hope this is it.
Because the world has been shifting daily, and feeds have been shifting with it. Including my own. Less “laughable meme moments.” More “here is what I believe while the algorithm fans me dramatically like a Greek chorus.” And not everyone wants that anywhere near their work orbit.
Completely fair. Also: healthy.
This isn’t about loyalty. Or likability. It’s about comfort.
In your professional life, you should never have to do the mental math of:
– “If I unfollow them, will this become a Thing?”
– “Do I have to laugh at this story because… career?” No. You don’t.
Healthy boundaries aren’t cold. They’re clean.
They protect your SKILLS at work from getting tangled with your opinions online.
They protect your NETWORK from becoming an obligation.
They protect your ACTIVITIES outside work from turning into “work culture.”
They protect the KNOWLEDGE of who’s watching what from becoming another invisible stressor.
So here’s what I want to know in the comments: Where do you land on coworker social media connections, and what boundary would make it genuinely easy for you? And if you’ve ever felt that quiet pressure to stay connected when you didn’t want to… what would have made it safer to opt out? (I’m hoping you say a message from the person in question, but no pressure on my obvious need for validation today).
