He shows up five minutes early again, which is either personal growth or a giant red flag in a blazer. If you’re new here: this is one of my ongoing coaching engagements. Great client, good intentions… and a workplace crush that has been taking up an impressive amount of his mental bandwidth. Nothing inappropriate, just a little bit of a dramatic, quiet fixation that turns a normal Tuesday into an internal soap opera.
ME: Welcome back. How was the week?
CLIENT: Good. And not good.
ME: Say more.
CLIENT: I keep getting pulled off task.
ME: Pulled by what? <like I don’t know what’s coming next>
CLIENT: Her.
Same coworker. Same magnet. Same you trying to call it “just distraction” when it’s actually an unpaid side hustle.
CLIENT: And I noticed something else…
ME: What?
CLIENT: That photo? The one of her and her partner? It’s gone.
I let the silence do what it does best: tell the truth without theatrics. After 30 seconds or so…
ME: And your brain interpreted that as…?
CLIENT: A sign.
ME: Okay, now we’re in Danger: Meaning-Making Territory.
CLIENT (nodding): She’s also been encouraging. Compliments. Support.
ME: Ah yes. Workplace kindness. The most confusing renewable resource on earth. <But then a curveball, that pivot I’m always waiting for.>
CLIENT: I don’t like who I become in that loop, I lose time… I lose focus.
ME: Great. I mean not great for you, but GREAT for your self-awareness!
So, we build a plan that doesn’t rely on willpower (because willpower is a flaky contractor with no follow-through):
CUE: the moment the thought, status-check, or desk-drive-by impulse starts.
INTERRUPT: Stand. Walk to water. Do something physical, every time.
RETURN: Come back to a pre-chosen task (real, finishable) give reality the mic back!
He nods, like someone who finally found the off switch. Then I add one more thing, because we’re adults, not Victorian ghosts.
ME: If you’re both single, you could choose a direct conversation at some point? <He looks up.> Just know that even when two people are available, workplace dynamics aren’t neutral. Perception, gossip, team trust, reporting lines, future projects. Consequences can be real.
CLIENT (nodding): I understand.
ME: Good, don’t ban your feelings, but you have to manage risk and protect your job.
He stands to leave, and his shoulders look lighter.
CLIENT: Thank you.
ME: Nothing to thank me for, you’re leading yourself.
OK, enough of your VOYEURISM: Share with the class, what’s your best pattern-interrupt when your brain starts freelancing at work?
