I brought my whole self to 2025, then spent the latter half quietly editing the parts that might be “too much” for daylight. Not because anyone asked. Because I’m talented at pre-emptive self-control.
And the funniest part is this: what you’ve been getting for months is the filtered version. Which means somewhere out there exists the unmuted director’s cut. So yes, while this passes for my beige smoothie of “executive presence,” my AI assistant thinks my mental health resembles an oil painting: half Monet, half Munch (and you know I had to write about it!)
A lily pond on one side, a quiet scream on the other. Both technically “fine,” yet desperately in need of fewer witnesses.
So, here’s what I’m taking away as the year goes quiet. A lot of us are tired, not from the work, but from the audition. The constant micro-adjusting, “read the room” gymnastics and strategic smiling that says, “I’m easy to manage,” while your soul files a complaint.
Don’t know if this is you? Here’s your quick gut-check, and if you do any of these, I assure you, you’re not alone:
– Rewrite a simple message until it has no personality left.
– You “just wanted to check in” when you mean “I need an answer.”
– Post the thing, then refresh for reactions like it’s oxygen.
– Apologize for taking up normal human space.
And yes, some of that is just being an adult in public, but without moderation, these behaviors belong in the “likability tax” category,
At work, it looks like sanding yourself down until you’re “low-friction.” You soften the point in your email. Remove the three exclamation points. Present the idea like you found it on the sidewalk, because owning it too boldly might disrupt someone’s delicate ecosystem. Become “reliable” in the way a stapler is reliable: always there, never threatening, never fully yourself.
In life, it’s the same move in different lighting. Waiting for a person, a parent, a partner, a friend, the internet, the universe to say: ok, now you can relax. Now you can be yourself and stop earning your seat.
But your real self is always there, even if beneath the polished delivery and under the part of you that wants to be held and also left alone, your brain is an inharmonious floral arrangement like mine.
The older I get, the clearer it becomes: if you need approval to know you’re steady, you’ll keep living on rented power. Self-trust cannot be a mood, each of us need to develop it as a muscle. If your having trouble finding it, look for the heat under your ribs that stays when no one quite understands what you’re building.
So, let’s make 2026 the year of less performing and more personal alignment.
Less “Do you like me?”
More “Do I like me?”
Pick a place to stop auditioning…
One conversation where you tell the truth kindly and hold your boundaries
without a TED Talk. Let the decision be yours.
