Last night I dreamt that an ex-boss slithered up to my table at an event, all sunshine and conference teeth, trying to join the conversation like history had been deleted from the server. In the dream, I stood up so fast my chair nearly filed an incident report, and when they tried to act nice, I told them exactly where they could put that rebrand.
This week’s card is The Devil.
Not because work is full of villains in capes and dramatic lighting (but that WOULD be visually interesting!)
No, this card is about attachment. Access. The strange little emotional layaway plans people put us on when they like what we bring to their life, but not enough to handle us as whole human beings.
Some people do not want closeness, just convenience with eye contact. They like what being around you does for them: the ease, the understanding, the sense that someone steady is in the room. What they don’t like is when you become less manageable, available, or willing to keep the arrangement friction-free. Then, suddenly, the weather changes.
-The boss who treated you like trusted inner-circle until you asked too many challenging questions.
-The work friend who felt real until the connection hit mild emotional weight and they vanished like a startup with no funding.
-The professional acquaintance who loves your presence when it is useful, and your humanity only when it is light and easy.
They pull away the moment you stop serving the role, then drift back later with polished manners, as if none of it ever happened.
That is Devil card behavior.
And that is where we get caught: because being chosen can feel so much like connection that we hand over access before we actually choose them back.
Now the real question is not, “Why are people like this?” Please. Human behavior has been airing this rerun since the invention of time. The real question: Why do so many of us confuse being chosen with choosing? Why does being…
welcomed feel like proof?
included feel like safety?
AND WHY DO WE hand people a backstage pass just because they are delighted to meet US?
The Devil card says: PAUSE.
Not everyone who reaches for you is reaching for YOU. Sometimes they’re reaching for what you provide. Comfort. Attention. Insight. Familiarity. And to be fair, that is useful.
But useful and valued are not the same. That little distinction has ruined many a perfectly good attitude.
So, this week’s lesson is not “build a moat and release the alligators.” Although I have considered it… It’s this: Being chosen is not being cherished, and access is not intimacy.
You are allowed to be friendly without being instantly available.
You are allowed to notice patterns without turning them into a group project.
You are allowed to smile in public while privately updating the guest list.
That is not bitterness. That is pattern recognition with boundaries.
So, tell me, what’s the most Devil-card behavior you’ve seen at work?
